


Flashbacks to a different time

by DaniDubskia



Series: Fluffvember 2020 [3]
Category: Magnum P.I. (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluffvember 2020, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:08:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27365557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniDubskia/pseuds/DaniDubskia
Summary: “I’ll be here to protect you./You make me feel safe.”
Relationships: Gordon Katsumoto/Thomas Sullivan Magnum IV
Series: Fluffvember 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1992121
Comments: 7
Kudos: 16





	Flashbacks to a different time

Gordon was in a battlefield. He felt the gun in his hands and the metalic smell of blood in the air. He started sprinting, frantically looking for his team mates. He found them, but not in a very desirable state. Bodies littered the ground, some covered in dozens of bulletwounds, some chared due to the explosives.

Their faces were horribly mutilated, beyond the point of recognition but he knew each and every one of them. 

_**Hartley** _  
_**Michealson** _  
_**Jefferson** _  
_**Fieldton** _  
_**James** _  
_**Fitzgerald** _  
_**Schultz** _  
_**Shepherd** _

His entire squad was gone

'Where are they?' he thought to himself

Suddenly, the heads of his former squad turned towards him and repeated the same thing over 

"Gordie wake up, Gordie wake up, Gordiewakeup, **GORDIE WAKE UP** "

He sprang up from the bed, cold sweats breaking across his forehead. He looked around saw that he was in a dark room. 

_**Robin's nest** _

He felt a hand on his wrist and back, he turned around and saw Thomas beside him. He had a worried look etched across his and he was holding him like his life depended on it.

"Gordie, you were tossing and turning and it looked like you were having a nightmare, what happened?"

Gordon turned away from him and tucked himself under the blanket. Hoping that Thomas will drop the subject,but he wasn't so lucky.

"Gordie c'mon-" he said as he wrapped his arms around Gordon from behind. "I'm not gonna drop the subject til you tell me" he finished stubbornly.

Gordon ignored him and tried to sleep but the flashback brought back fears and the feeling of his sins crawling up his back. He didn't notice Thomas nuzzling his neck trying to get his attention. After afew minutes of trying to ignore the feeling he turned to him and said.

"Fine I'll tell you"

He took a deep breath and started talking.

"Back when I was in the military I was squad leader and our squad was chosen to help a ranger regiment with a sting operation-" he sighed.

Thomas cupped his face trying to give him a comforting touch. Gordon placed his hand on his and continued

"-We thought we would help by scouting the place out, but we were wrong. We were the bait and my entire squad was massacered. I couldn't save them"

Thomas pulled him into his arms to try and comfort him again. He couldn't even imagine what he felt. He knew what it felt like to lose men but his entire team.

'I don't think I'd be able to handle it'

He heard a bit of grumbling from Gordon and he pulled away. Dumbfounded, Thomas put a hand on his shoulder and shook him lightly.

"There's more to it isn't there?" He asked worried

Gordon grunted and burried himself deeper within the blankets. Thomas stroked Gordon's hair hoping that the action will comfort him enough to tell him the rest of the problem. After abit more stroking Gordon finally caved.

"It's because the ranger regimen came in late and left them to die. When confronted with it they didn't even care. They just said 'that's war shortstacks'. They didn't even care about the lives we lost. And even top management didn't care. All they cared about was that the ranger team did their job and the sting was successful. They threw them out like trash"

Thomas wasn't sure how to respond. He's never been put in a position like Gordon's. He has experienced upper management not giving a rat's ass about soldier casualties but it was usually 1 or 2 men. Not an entire squad.

"What happened to your team was terrible and upper management should've done a better job at dealing with the death of your team. But all I can offer is that atleast because of your squad's sacrifice, 100's of people are safe"

Gordon's face showed signs of anger but he quickly shoved it down. But he let abit out in a snarky line.

"I knew you'd give that excuse"

"What? Gordie what do you mean"

Gordon snapped

"Don't 'Gordie' me you know what you said. Do you know why I knew what you were gonna say! You were a SEAL you were at the very top of the chain! You were the ranger group!"

Thomas stayed silent unsure of what to do.

"Heck,I bet when you were still serving you let people like them die just so you can get a shot at the enemy and didn't even give them the respect they deserve!" Gordon screamed out.

Thomas didn't know what to do so he said the first thing that came to mind.

"I'm sorry" 

Gordon cooled down and but he couldn't look him in the eyes. Guilt for snapping at his boyfriend wrapped around him.

"No, I'm sorry, I just put all my anger onto your shoulders when you weren't even there to begin with, it's just the fact that you were the big guns of the military and I'm not saying you didn't deserve or worked hard for it. Being a SEAL is tough and the entrance exam is harder than anything anyone's ever been through. I've had afew cousins try to be SEAL's and ended up either dying while in BUDS or didn't even pass. But the lingering feeling that if we met while we were both serving, that you'd see me as disposable"

Thomas sighed

"Sweetheart, you know I love you and you know that I'd never see you as disposable, you are so important to me"

"That's not the point I'm trying to make! What if we were in that sting operation. Would you even try to humanize my team or would you be like the rest and tell me to 'buck up' "

Thomas interlaced his hand with Gordon and stayed quiet for abit. He let Gordon cool down and asked him

"Are you ok now?" As soft as he can muster

"Yeah" his voice quiet from the outburst

"Let me tell you a story" Thomas started

"Back when I was a SEAL I was tasked to lead a sting operation. We would use a navy squadren as a divertion. I spoke to the squad leader and he wasn't too pleasent-" it was an understatement.

"He told us that he was going to lead his men and he wouldn't let me kill those boys, and to be honest the mission was a success but afew died. Upper management only cared that the operation was a success. And honestly I kinda lost it. I got mad at them for not caring about the lives sacrificed that day and got a smack talk. The squad leader talked to us later and I gave him my condolences and he just nodded at us and walked away"

Gordon showed a soft smile "so what's the point of the story"

"The point is that, I can't guarantee which people will care about the casualties but I can assure you that no matter what, no matter what position, not even if we don't know eachother. I will always value human lives. I will value your life" Thomas closed his tangent with a sigh.

Gordon proceded to knock both of them onto the bed so they're laying down and put his head on his chest. Thomas ran his hands through his hair as he felt the tension release from his body.

"You make me feel safe"

Thomas only replied with a soft kiss on the forehead as he drifted off to sleep.  


**Author's Note:**

> I did a little bit of military research in this fic and holy shit. It is that hard to be a SEAL. Turns out only 5% of BUD/s cadets actually become SEALS. And some of them even die while in training
> 
> BUD/s: SEAL training camp
> 
> And I was wring. Some even go through naval academy first


End file.
